Holy Bloopers!
by EJ Amber
Summary: You know the story. Farore, Nayru and Din created Hyrule. Well, they must have made mistakes. You can read about those mistakes here. Rated for 3rd degree burns. R&R cuz it'll make me happy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, this is supposed to be how Nayru, Din and Farore created Hyrule and this is all their mistakes that they made in the process.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. That is, if Nayru is done inventing the concept of owning stuff...**

Holy Bloopers

_Take one! Termina Prarie!_

"I say we make it full of huge rocks for powerful beings to smash!" Din said. She was conferring with her sisters on making Hyrule. Currently, they had decided to experiment with a land called Termina so all their mistakes would be there.

"I say we make it full of challenges for the courageous!" Farore said. They had been arguing about this for the past half hour.

"Look you two! This isn't helping anything! We need to find a balance! As much as it would please me to see tablets of knowledge everywhere, that isn't happening until we agree!" Nayru said.

"Fine." Din said.

"NO WAY!" said Farore. Too brave to submit, too stupid to realize that she should "live to fight another day" as Nayru's favorite saying said. Nayru made up the saying, so of course it was her favorite, but that is beside the point.

"Okay, Farore? If you don't agree to negotiate, I'll make everyone cowardly!" Nayru knew this would silence her sister.

"Fine."

"Okay, we need a flat plain to start with. I'm taking suggestions." Nayru said this.

"Hard." Din said.

"Full of challenges." Farore said.

"Um, just pick a color." Nayru said.

"Red." Din.

"Green." Farore.

"Okay, I pick blue." Nayru.

"How do we pick? How about a duel?" Din wanted a duel because she knew she'd win. She _was_ the Goddess of Power after all.

"We'll draw names from a hat. As soon as we invent a hat." Nayru said. "Ok. I'll make a hat."

She made it after several tries. The first attempt was a head-devouring beast. The second most closely resembled a piece of saltwater taffy.

"Okay. This is a stovepipe hat. We put the color in here and pick one out."

Finally they got it right.

"YES! GREEN IT IS!" Farore was celebrating this. Nayru was sitting with her head in her hands. Din was screaming in anger and punching the air. Or at least, what would have been the air if they had invented it yet…

"Okay. Green." Nayru created it, and at least got that right. "Ok, now I think I will make an ocean and sky and Din will make fire."

_Take Two! Death Mountain!_

Din first created fire as a red rock that is found in Death Mountain Crater and is smashed only with the Megaton Hammer. Then she created it as multi-colored mashed potatoes.

_Take Three! Great Bay!_

Nayru had more luck, getting them both on her second try, but she made the sea completely solid and cold on her first try.

"hmmm… I think I'll call this 'ice!' And I am going to make it what water does when it is cold!"

_Take Four! Eureka!_

"HAH!" Din's triumphant shout was heard all through the infinite void in which they were currently floating. "I made fire! Ouch! I think I'm gonna call that a third degree burn! Nayru? Could you please invent medical supplies? And a hospital?"

Meanwhile, Farore was off on her own, making a sword.

"YIKES!" she shouted as her fifth attempt produced a snake. "I'm gonna call that a cobra! Din, could you help me create antivenin?"

Din was, however, making a creature called a Gerudo. Unfortunately, without Nayru's wisdom, she gave the race a terrible defect of being all-female. (A/N: THAT'S BAD?) That was her first mistake. The next was that the spear turned to mush…

_Take Five! Kokiri Forest!_

Nayru had begun to make a creature called a 'deku scrub'. It was wise enough to know how to hide if something came near to it. It also had a seed shooter nose. Now it would be great if she had invented seeds for the seed shooter to shoot…

**A/N: Well I hope this has showed you the mistakes our favorite 3 goddesses make... there will be more. as soon as they invent the fanfiction . net chapter system... which, knowing them, will probably look like a shower.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, I have good reviews, and I am beginning to think you all are liking this story, so, I will say to all:**

**I am not going to make updates to this rare like Justin Time said, cuz nothing can stop an update-atleast-once-every-few-days-for-ocarinaofthespacetimecontinuum!**

**I also made Nayru ban script format.**

**Next... do you want to know what the document label for this chapter was? It was: I really seriously think that the three Goddesses were that clueless, cuz they started from scratch without any idea of what they were going to do. They had no idea at all about even what a blade of grass is! So, yeah. Clueless.**

Holy Bloopers!

_Take Six! Gerudo Valley!_

"Okay! I just thought of something!" Farore said.

"Well, that's a first." Din was in a bad mood from the third degree burns that she had just invented.

"What is it, Farore?" Nayru asked.

"I think we should make a valley to challenge the courageous." Farore was nervous about this, but she was the goddess of courage, so she said it anyway.

"Ha! Maybe you're onto something! It would take power to defeat it!" Din was starting to be in a better mood.

"Alright. I was thinking a deep hole. With a waterfall!" Farore said.

"Well, what is a hole? And we will also need to figure out how to make the water fall down in the waterfall. I suggest we make something and call it Gravity." Nayru said.

_Take Seven! The Laws of Physics!_

Din and Nayru were the ones making Gravity. Farore was making a bridge because she thought it would help those courageous ones who wished to challenge it.

Nayru told Din what she thought. She said,

"Okay, you will need to make it hold people to the ground. It will need to be powerful. That is why you are making it."

Din made several things, none of which even resembled Gravity. The first was a CD player. The second at least helped a little. It was double-sided sticky tape. The next was even better. It was the Iron Boots.

Farore's bridge was now somewhat resembling a cookbook.

_Take Eight! Name!_

"When am I gonna get this right? I've gotta get it right!" Din shouted. She was now creating an assortment of power tools. "Hey, why can't we just call it the Saws of Physics and be done with it?"

"Because we want the people of I-rule to worship us!" Farore said.

"Hey, if we want them to worship us, we need a better name than I-rule!" Nayru said.

"What about Hi-rule? It still sounds like I-rule! It's like a private joke!" Din said.

"Well, it probably needs a 'y' in it somewhere." Farore said. Right about then she was making a bridge that looked suspiciously like a box of Kleenex. "How about 'Hyrule'?"

Everyone agreed on that, and they decided to make it the official name of the land they were going to create. As soon as the made the concept of creating.

_Take Nine! Termina Desert?_

Farore and Din decided to make a desert. They changed the flat green plane into a yellow one and created sand. Unfortunately, their first attempt at sand looked like a corkscrew. Then they changed the corkscrew into leevers. The details are not supposed to be told… but they finally made the Haunted Wasteland.

_Take Ten! Hylians!_

"We need to make a creature that will be the dominant life form. Any suggestions?" Nayru said.

"Powerful!"

"Brave!"

"This isn't helping. We need to make something… something that makes some more sense. We need something about what they look like."

"They should have two legs, two arms, a body and a head." Farore actually said this.

"And strong enough to beat everything else in their world!" Din said.

They made Gorons first, because they were having so much trouble. Then, since they didn't want that to be the dominant life, they made Hylians.

_Take Eleven! Zoras?_

"What do you think about making a water-thing like the Hylians?" Nayru said.

"Sure." Din.

The first attempt was one of those skeleton-fish. The next was a seahorse. Finally they got it right.

_Take Twelve! Fanfiction . net!_

"Hey, we should make somewhere for our fans to write about us!" Nayru said.

"Okay. THEN WE CAN CRUSH THEM!" Din said.

"It would take immense courage to write with _Din_ wanting to crush you. I'm in!" Farore.

"Well, I'll make it." Nayru.

So, she made it first as a shower. (Told you so!) Then, she made it as what it is, but she decided that she was going to go insane and ban script format and chaps that are solely A/Ns so, YUP! She went insane… SEEYA NEXT CHAPTER!

**A/N: I'll seeya next chap! Oh, and this is actually what I seriously think it would be like for them to invent Hyrule. Glad you all think it's funny... I think it's just sad... to have 3 clueless dieties. think i spelled that right...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I have decided to update this so that I will not be a hipocrite when I say "UPDATE NOW PEOPLE! STOP PUTTING STORIES ON HOLD FOR A YEAR!" and so that I can tell Sparkly Faerie that if he/she thinks Ocarina of the Space/Time Continuum is boring, s/he should not read it! That being said, it is because of that review that I have written this chap so soon, so... I HAVE NOW REALIZED SOMETHING. AND THAT SOMETHING IS THAT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO THINKS I'M NOT FUNNY NO MATTER WHAT NEW JOKE I SAY, AND I AM NO LONGER GOING TO LET THAT GET ME DOWN. Yeah, I just realized that... stupid, aren't I?**

Holy Bloopers!

_Take Thirteen! Superstition!_

"HEY! Let's make thirteen unlucky!" Nayru said.

"Okay!" Din said.

"I'm in." Farore said.

So, they made thirteen unlucky. Of course, unluckiness was first made as a Hylian Shield, but that is beside the point…

_Take Fourteen! Northern Mountain?_

"Hmm…. Lets make someplace cold and high up! Like a mountain!" Din said.

"Alright. I'll make it higher, Din, you make it cold, and Farore? Just try to stay out of trouble." Nayru said.

"OKAY!" Din said. And she made it snow radioactive goo. "Is this the weather we should have? Nayru? Could you stop dying of radiation poisoning and answer me?"

Finally they made it like it is supposed to be, but they had some trouble when Farore tried to make snow and ended up making invisible platforms.

_Take Fifteen! Chu Jelly! or Strange Mistake Made By Din!_

The next day, or it will be the next day as soon as they make the concept of days as something other than a puppet, Oh! They made it as a sore throat! Well, anyway, the next… sore throat… man I hate these Goddesses… anyway, the next sore throat Din tried to make a creature. The creature was called a Chu Chu… the Goddesses refuse to speak of that day. And they insist that Chu Chus are just something that happened when they were doing something else…

**A/N: I know this is short, but I started to think about Jak and Daxter and the last part of this chap started to become Farore, Jak and Nayru save Hyrule from Cyber Erol instead of Farore, Din and Nayru created Hyrule. So I had to take off the last part and post this as is...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: new chapter! update! yay!**

Holy Bloopers!

_Take Sixteen! Seelipign!_

So, the sore throat after Din made Chu Chus, they decided that tehy nedee to laern to spell! So, they made spellings for all the words that would be considered the correct spellings.

Unfortunately, these spellings were made by Farore and she can't spell to save her life. So, the word is now 'seelipign' instead of 'spelling'. Anyway, they can't seelipig to save their life, can they?

_Take Seventeen! What have we forgot?_

The three Golden Goddesses of Hyrule were relaxing one day, pondering what they had left to do.

"I think," Nayru said, "that something is missing."

Din noodled… well, I suppose we mortals spell it nodded, but… that's our three Goddesses' idiocy in making noodled the spelling.

So, Din agreed and showeed this by… excuse me while I muredeed… aaah! I mean to say… I'd like to get revegan… revenge! on Farore for seelipign so staragely… I mean to say strangely! Aah!

So, anyway, Din finnnnnnnuuulllllleeee…erm… let's just use mortal spellings from now on, okay? So, Din finally realized what they never did.

"It's the most basic thing!" she said, "Why, I'm almost ashamed for not thinking of it yet."

Farore nodded. (yay! It's not spelled noodled!)

"I'm also ashamed for not thinking of it yet!" she agreed, "Why, it's the first thing that was done in the bible!"

Din smiled.

"Yeah. We really should have thought of it before! It's…"

**A/N: ready to find out what it is? well, you have to wait till next chapter. yeah, I'm that mean. so review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Holy Bloopers!

_Take Eighteen! Another Thing!_

Last time on Holy Bloopers…

"_We really should have thought of it before! It's…"_

Suddenly, a massive amount of static blocked out all sound so that the two thing the Goddesses had forgotten were not heard.

_Take Nineteen! How Does Nayru Know About TVs?_

"Excuse me," Nayru said, "while I invent a TV repairman."

She created a TV repairman easily, although the first try was a pair of binoculars (well, actually they haven't invented those yet) with fried chicken legs. She named it F1 and to this day it resides in Microsoft Word.

So, as the three Goddesses pondered for a moment, they realized that they had a much more pressing matter. They had yet another thing they had forgotten!

_Take Twenty! Air!_

"I do believe," Din said, in a rare moment of actually having a brain, "that we need to invent air before addressing the thing we forgot."

"I'm sorry," Nayru admitted, "I didn't hear you. We're in a vacuum where sound doesn't travel. I need to make some air."

So, they invented the air. First, however, it was made as King Dodongo.

_Take Twenty-One! Stunted Growth!_

It was right then that they realized the fact that the Hylians had a problem. You see, none of them had grown at all during the time the Goddesses had been inventing Hyrule.

So, they decided to make a new name for them and work on Hylians later. They called the race the Irikok.

Then they finally decided that they had to address the matter that they had been forgetting.

_Take Twenty-Two! The Resolution Of A Cliffhanger!_

"So," Farore said, "when exactly are we going to make what we forgot?"

"Well, if anyone would tell me what it is…" Nayru's voice trailed off meaningfully.

"It…" Din said, "is…" she continued, "a very…" she stated, "simple…" she explained, "thing…" she pointed out, "called…" she added… (do you want to know? Really?) "……….." she said cryptically to add suspense, "………" she added by way of pause, "……light."

"Well," Nayru said, "that's easy to fix!"

_Take Twenty-Three! More "Divine" Seelipign!_

So, Nayru explained (with a lot of "divine" spelling) that she hheasaaad a Sun hoo weeold luv toooo do thuh lite.

Of course, she hired a translator to explain. The translator was an Irikok named Airas.

But she didn't catch the spelling of the word "son."

_Take Twenty-Four! The Son of Nayru! or The Sun Is The Son!_

"The translation," Airas said, "is: 'Nayru has a Sun who would love to do the light.'"

So, Nayru's… erm… Sun… took the job the very next sore throat.

And as Nayru's son rose in the east, they knew that it was absolutely stupid to make this place.


End file.
